Let’s die to all small and big emotions of unsafety, loneliness, hurt and betrayal, failure and suffering.
There is no one’s fault, no image, no thought, no moment rises without being allowed, consciously or unconsciously by you.
Someone wants to wake up, it feels hard to sit still, accept and let silence nurture the exhausted self, the undeveloped and unloved parts of you. The desire for surrendering rise from your womb, the ache and longing for softness and receptivity, through time and space.
Who are you, within web of my body, are you Soul? Personality, a drop of a water from ocean of consciousness, all the undissolved parts waiting for alchemy process, to turn into love!! Who are you?
I call you, to come and sit with me, with gentleness of sky and patience of trees. Your presence is all I need, to find the strength to stand as whole in this unbearable pain and not runaway, not hide, not blame, just die in my own loving embrace and witness how the crack in my heart widens, moment by moment for the light to open up and show me the secret pathway to lifetimes patterns of self-sabotage and manipulation, fear of being authentic.
Sorrow is part of our breathing, it carves inside out, the passage for the flow of acceptance, self nourishing and love.
Let’ die to all stories of control and success,
To all false senses of security, belonging and power.
I want to die and at the same time give life to this intense feelings of discomfort, wow and wonder and extremely painful of maturity in my human form. When, moment by moment, waves take me from joy and playfulness, to disconnect and pressure, just to open a new gate and invite a deeper relation with all parts, as Who I AM.
Perhaps it is my last hope, or my first authentic act to retrieve all parts of my soul, in the present without fear of rejection and disapproval. It worth dying…Isn’t death also a beginning?
The deeper I look into the mirror of the world, the deeper I must travel to underworld of my feelings, meet the shadow and unloved and even lost parts of my soul. Some, I must bury with love and care, with patience and compassion, some, I have to sit, months, even years, for the invite… just to enter, just to accept, to open and allow healing… for self love to grow.
Can I ever travel beyond my stories? Some sounds like an old gramophone, pausing, rewinding on its own….I am tired of repetition of the sorrow stories, the abandon child and the hermit path.
Can I finally admit, surrender to life as it comes, let flow truly moves me forward. Can I enter this moment, virgin, no sense of good or bad, no need or desire to do or not to do.
Let’s die and open up to more love, fall into unknown and even when it feels my skin is burning and I can’t stand one more minute in front of the heat of transformation and illumination, lets stay still, while parts of me dying that no longer serving my growth.
Let die and accept this human experience as without this body, I could never know, how beautiful I can be, how hard the ground of life feels and how amazing standing up is. How much more I can delve in, to be more truthful, humble and sensitive to all.
Let die and accept the agony of lessons and changes and embrace the magical ecstatic moments of ecstasy, when everything becomes one, and feels I never left home.
Today, I crossed a deadly desert, still feel hot, confused, vulnerable, nowhere to hide, rest or wait for the next day. So, come and hold my hands, my light, my shadow, my ache in the chest, my forever lover, my breath of longing, come and stay with me, until I die completely, turn to ashes one more time, hopefully one last time, to lose all I have to lose. To become a place free of time and space,
For love to happens, over and over,
On blade of grass, on the edge of moon’s lips on skin of night,
In face of strangers, and silent imitation of birds,
Come and end me
To reborn out of my new heart
Into a boundless echo of Now.
Now or never,
I promise you,
our forever no ending love affair in Now.