Trust is a heart quality and not an easy one to master. We begin our journey on earth as children, trusting our parents. We are helpless infants, in need to be fed and cared for. We grow up without even recognizing the presence of trust in our heart, and days will arrive that it is tested by people, events and even in our relation with ourselves.
These days humanity live in mistrust, we might have one or two people in our lives, in depth of our hearts, knowing and believing they are always there, we can trust them. Sometimes, love goes hand in hand with trust and other times, trust has a condition, to be earned or to let go.
There is another kind of trust, we call it faith, we call it life. How far we trust our relation with life as it flows in our veins, as it manifests in our worlds?
Mind could never trust. For mind everything is divided by mine and yours. By benefits and fears. By control or victimizing. In our path on earth, we begin very early to face choices beyond our mind scopes, places that only heart could lead us. I found relationships the greatest playground to see the truth and depth of what part of us we pick up when we are challenged by these two pulls, mind and heart.
The roots of acceptance lies beneath the heart, the flower is Trust.
Over the last 10 years of my life, I witness the struggle of my parents to support my inner journey which does not make any sense from mind’s perception. They swing between judgment and acceptance. They shifted alongside my journey trying so hard to play their parental rule as they knew it, the inner alchemy has been transforming not just my life but also theirs.
The swing between their heart and mind was a great mirror and learning curve for me as their first born child arriving at her half of century travel in this body. Their life pretty much run by ego, fears and control, like majority of people across the globe, they are called sleep walkers. I believe my presence in their life meant to help them grow and let more love in, as they are both suffer so painfully with lack of love in their life and marriage. I played my part with more awareness, however, how could I explain that there is no purpose, no sense of outer achievement in my pursue for truth. They learning could not be fulfilled unless they accept and trust the not knowing side of life.
And the day came that I knew, they have a choice in front of them, either they go deeper in their heart, for us to stay in each other life or the mind and opinions will cut me off because they no longer can continue their inner struggle, staying with mind and judgment was more powerful than trusting their hearts.
It unveiled a moment of truth for me as well. Because there is a time which life calls us to stand up and surrender to what it is, no matter how it appears or even feel like.
It is impossible to maintain inner peace if you do not drop yourself, the story and how you wished for a different outcome. Trust is a quality we develop by walking through suffering.
Every step of the way, life will test our authenticity, that is how alchemy works. Nothing comes shiny and bright, unless it is polished patiently.
Aloneness is a strange space, I call it a sacred space to lose the identity. You get polished and carved, to lose all rough edges, so shiny and so light. Only aloneness can make that bridge between all parts of self. So alone, you swim. You delve you go deeper into your own heart, return to womb of creation.
I found out, life offers rituals, some with soft tenderness and some with dark shocks. We dance through these rituals, remembering the unchanged part of who we are. The ground of trust is becoming receptive, open and empty of expectation. That is how the entire experience become totally your own. Trust is never outside of us, it is never in relationships or happening. Trust is the recognition of totality, power of oneness. It is a highly developed state of consciousness, evolving and taking us beyond body and conditions.
Walking on earth as a soul is vulnerability, full time transparency. At the same time, only through vulnerability we see the secret multiplicity of possibilities and a free dynamic of creating beyond normal vision. It feels like a crystalized trust, same beating with entire creation and universe.
It is our essence.
Weaving our purpose, every time we choose to trust present, be faith, than having faith.
The world breaks your heart, have no doubt in that.
It is the proper love ritual, shattering your beliefs.
Inside the broken parts, you find the key to unlock your mind.
Do not settle with less than your essence.
Life is a ritual to recover your soul.
Trust this moment. And the next.
Trust yourself. Always.