I sit with songs of birds and playing flute most mornings. Inside the sound, silence breathe. Mind falls in a pool of cool water. For a few minutes, everything is here and it feels nothing is here, just an empty space. To hold the experience and as the attention moves, it is gone and the next moment comes, music is still playing and senses are relax. Early mornings have a magic, a mystery of newness. I always feel invited to join this secret room of life, patiently with my pen and open heart.
These days I spent a lot of time in my heart. No need to avoid my feelings or try to change them to some bearable ones. Facing what you feel as it is, is liberating. You wander into heart’s language without a self-help book or a manual trying to translate every sense into a meaning. Bird’s songs’ are still mystery to human’s mind
, I am not surprised of their amazing wings and passion for early days. They know how to worship beauty of Sun, openness of sky. They surf lovingly on gentle skin of cherry blossoms in spring. When I let go of mind, I feel like a free bird. Perhaps one day an eagle and the next I become a nightingale. This is the hidden sound of heart, whispering a new song and take my breath into a new discoveries. Sometimes learning is hard, it feels like a long walk in a hot and solitary desert, without a shade or water, other times, and it is like a fairy dust touching everything with magic and laughter. It takes time to become detached from the song and the singer. Stay peaceful and listen.
I needed to become very still in month of March, for some reason, all unresolved matters of my heart and soul growth reappeared in a shocking events and situations. There is middle world between what heart says and mind dictates, it is a path of wisdom, where visions are powerful and our human nature receptive, like a blue sky, open and full of allowing.
I learnt to sit in this allowing and observe. At first, it seemed I am waiting for something to happen, I call that the first attention, that as far as mind travels. Expecting, waiting for an action.
If you still hold your attention there, in allowing, you see mind is disappearing and does not interested to stay with nothing. Stay with songs of bird, stay with the flute player. You begin to feel energy in your body is moving, there is no waiting or expecting. Life is responding softly to invitation of allowing.
It has no destination, you never know how the actions will be born and carried over in the world of matter, but you feel a deeper connection with this inner wisdom. I feels been there always running beneath the first attention. You are moved into the second attention, a new space to witness yourself. You still not sure of how all these feelings are happening in you. Where they are coming from, you can hear your heart, you can hear your mind and neither of them are leading or imposing when you are connected from the second attention. This is the eyes of inner seer, where visions are merging. You can stay there for few hours, even days or week. You move back and forth between two points of attentions, one day feeling better and the next not, this is the clearing of energy, but mind still has no understanding of what is happening, trying to move you into actions, planning, stories and again heart whispers her wisdom, stay on, stay here and allow…
The longer you’re held your position in the second attention space, the better you witness your inner feelings. Human feelings are invisible web of information and inspiration, woven in one tapestry, and still connected with entire universe and livings. Have you noticed when you really are sad and unhappy, someone close suddenly out of the blue give you a call! This is the connection of second attention between polarity of feelings, bringing two in one moment of heart connection and manifestation.
My words might be strange and even unfamiliar for fast thinkers, mind always take you into speed of understanding. While nature and meditation offers windows to a rhythm and balance. There is always a layers in how nature forms and transforms. Our inner kingdom also unveils the same way. Our bodies grow up and age gradually. To witness the inner world of feelings and how we connect and at what level we witness, listen and follow through is also gradual.
In today spiritual world and teachers, I came to only rely on myself and this inner process. I listen to my feelings and let them unfold this journey to whatever rise. There were time, my life and heart were required deep healing and years of solitude to just unlearn all the wrong believes or even values. Then this process, shifted my life into a creative fountain and it was art, writing and constant expression of my feelings in form.
These days, I listen and everything brings me back to my body, the most abused part of my presence of life. And when I allow even a deeper listening and take the silence into the third attention, I hear new feelings, the ones I never allowed to be heard. I have moments and hours of tears and then gentle embrace of my soul, knowing I have passed far deeper than ever to source of my feelings.
If you really look at yourself, everything you experience is in a direct connections with your feelings. These three different layers of attention only reflects back the depth and mystery on the web of feelings in human bodies. My gift of vision has been developing tremendously over the last few years that I have been in space of timeless and allowing the inner journey. These days, I barely need to look into people face, I see the energy, the level they embrace their life, how they think, feel. I see a blue print of feelings, then some surface emotions and all related stories we carry as human beings until we realize, we are all one mind, one life, different physical vehicles (body). And how we move from our personal too impersonal is in direct contact with how we use our attention to connect with feelings…
True observant, see feelings are a collective consciousness, one ocean of movement and connect as a whole and in true oneness. Separate mind, still connects with separate emotions (surface feelings) and relate personal to everything and everyone.
My advice is to get comfortable with your feelings, good or bad, they have messages for you. They also can empower your soul after clearing, which normally you get a sense of it as intuition and some instinct.
Use early morning, when minds are still not completely up, to hear your heart, gentle song of life in your vein. Every morning you are touched by love within you, inviting for more intimacy and space to be felt and touched.
Say yes to your feelings, they are your map, blue print of happening in you as a life. Listen deep and you see they begin changing by you just listening to them. And follow the three attention spaces, I am sure it might be even more than my discovery in this process. Let the inner seer reborn, understanding at soul level is freedom.