In time our burdens could transform to gifts. It is through the passage of life, we meet endless possibilities of living the life we love, if only we dare…
Dare to be truthful to our heart.
Dare to have courage and trust in what we do not see.
Dare to stand alone.
Dare to forgive ourselves for short sighted perceptions and limited choices.
To live a loving life, we need to surrender to our heart dreams and let them free of our forceful doings shape and manifest, attract and let go whatever is required to move us through evolution. Being awaken means to interact with everything from the place of heart, with one attitude, loving.
It is not easy to love when all you ever learnt is lack of it. Is hunger and manipulation of control. I know the sadness and desperate measures of a human’s heart to find a meaning in face of terror and unworthiness. I feel part of my existence was and is to be agent of hope, to transmute pain into faith, into light. Within love, I found a refuge to hear myself, truly and accept life unconditionally.
I am a poet more than be any other of gifts and talents seem rising effortless from my being. It was the pain in my heart at early age that brought words into life, to release, to heal. I feel deeply the heart of humanity. As myself lived a heartbreaking childhood and continues adulthood. Somehow, as a surviving mechanism, words turned to have the power to shift me into a new gravity, sometimes even into weightless state of being which surprisingly many achieve by meditation and mindfulness I could arrive with a simple process of music and writing, like I never was existed in form, only boundless space of breathing, into floating love, to home.
The blood of moon was my light and whispers of sparrow music of hope. My pain became butterflies easing and flying out of burden. Present is not a place for short visits, that is why it is so hard to stay alive when all you feel is pain, loneliness and rage toward outside boundaries. It requires patience and space to stay with feelings as uncomfortable they are, true power lies beneath the wounded hearth.
My heart over flows with dance of trees, scent of ocean and mystery of a day. I lived in dark nights and temptation of death over and over. Deep denial to receive part of myself, to care enough to stay alive one more day, just hoping something, someone will save me from that darkness and destructive mental patterns.
Now, nothing can take me away from joy of flight into my heart’s dream. No fire, no pain. Loving is a daily worship I offer to my own being. The softness in my heart has effected on all hard edges of behaviors and senses which could take me to personal stories and small living. I live in open fields and no longer afraid of anyone to see my tears. I rather to laugh though, to offer a star or a green leaf.
I rather to give my life to a moment of truth, than a lifetime living in lie for the sake of fearful thoughts.
Love has taken me to places on earth and within that I can not find words to describe. Jet black was the colour, no door or window to breathe or free myself. Yes, the commitment to love is a price to pay to be authentic and fearless, it builds with Grace and unshakable faith into an Intelligent beyond my understanding, many call him God, I used to and sometimes still say it.
It is in this relation that heart finds all strength to walk naked without much cover in face the unknown and allow all happening without prejudice and expectation.
Clouds are passengers in vast blue sky. Nothing ties them or release them. There is no separation between sky and clouds, it is the completion of momentary encounter, in repeated chants of music of life. Out of the gravity of thinking, we are pretty capable to create anything we want. It is just hard to listen deep to true voice of self. Our surface wanting is never about our soul desires, it is always a mask of deception and society input in forms of values and social standards.
Out of the gravity of identity land, we can hear the stream of water. Something sensual or even sexual is in this sinking within stillness. Body opens up to surrendering, so soul could hum her messages.
For me these message come without much interface through poetry and writing. Echoes of my soul.
I become a fig tree every night, full of taste and juices. My heart pounds with pulse of womb of creation and within my body. This unavoidable joy of giving and offering my being to beauty and sense of love, could even seem an agony and stretch over entire planet, wide open for seeding, for blooming, for life, for death.
Poetry is my home, where I can be myself without knowing who I am. A writer or a poem of God. This slow approach of present, silent invite into more softness and gentle draw of moment into my feelings, increasing the fever for loving more, deeper and deeper beyond knowing where it takes me, in my earthy form as well as my multidimensional soul.
I finally fall in love with earth, not being afraid to be here with all of me. Allowing my feelings to exist, to speak. Without disfiguring them, or processing them through over eating and watching TV. Without blaming anything for what I feel or how I choose to perceive. I owe this evolution to my poetic heart. My home of longing is transformed to where I truly belong.
My body is no longer an unwanted reality which I need to live with or deal with her nagging voices. It is a throne of a Goddess who lives in totality and freedom. Cherishes her senses and embrace her soft nature with consistency and devotion. This is my message of hope, this is why words can carry me over every situation and stage of life. I fly like a feather with a wind, over water and fire.
I dared to stand free and loving. I dared to live with unknown and allow everything touches my core of being without a fear or a need.
Beauty is my destiny and offering hope to all livings on Gaia my everyday chant. I love that I no longer have an identity, face or a plan.
I am here, in this moment, dancing naked with earth and sky. With all humans, aware or not, when I meet them in full transparency, truth always can reach them, love them and hope..
One day we all be awaken. One day not far, we all choose love. We all be a butterfly whirling around the moon of our dreams, easing into the flight of truth.