It began with self inquiry
Entering the heart’s castle.
At the gate was a tree with many sparrows,
in dance with colourful leaves,
Changing winds and forever sunshine.
I entered fearfully of what I might discover.
There were many doors, rooms and endless corridors.
I crossed the battlefields of my heart, bled and shed,
it was between minds walls, I faced many deaths.
To know who I am, to see the grand design of my existence,
I saw all low and high of my soul,
My tears before dawn, behind the rose bushes.
I became a nightingale,
aching in my songs,
longing to be heard by the beloved of all.
Behind each door was a gift, in a shape of a dagger or a blissful leaf.
I let the demons out,
I embraced the unborn children of my dreams.
I waited patiently in desert of aloneness,
to die and retrieve in a drop of truth.
It has been years, walking through each part my heart castle,
love conquered all corners,
light freed all prisoned doves.
Mystery revealed herself, just before another burial.
I have become independent and expert in art of surrendering.
Over the years, the veil became so thin, that I crossed
into the misty dream of union, sat beside
the Sacred, inner chamber
of my heart, where only the beloved breathes.
Each time the intensity of our love making, broke me into pieces,
between kisses and endless tears,
joy and ache of dying,
I sang love songs, danced with white butterflies,
made tapestries of delight.There was no measure, there is no measure.
In how I love God.
This aloneness I walk into it is the most sacred passage to ends up in his arms.
To wonder in mystery in every corner of my own life.
What is hidden in the heart, is a promise written in sky,
It is the end of seeker and the knower
My heart looks small to hold such a greatness as love of God,
but she does it courageously.
She walks silently,
through blood of her humans dreams,
over lands of maya.
My heart is a boundless field,
each chambers open to a magnificent garden,
full of fragrances,
colours and tastes of nectar, magic and wonders.
All the things I wanted are gone
into the storms of loving God.
It all began with self inquiry,
every grain of sand,
Burnt in recognition of the Sun,
The beauty of her lips
The magic of her touch,
The mystery of union,
The disappearance of Serena
All in love, all with the beloved
Awaken in this dream,
my heart giggles in dance with universe
And rests peacefully in here
In now, where God is.
16 July Istanbul