The Remembrance, 21st Sept 2008

At the rim of eternal longing

The forgotten speech of life

Changing phrases.

This dark void has been

the womb of all my creation,

endless aloneness of my eyes

into forever transformation of love’s horizons.

I lost all human relations

For the sake of a glance exchange

with the immortal lover.

All tales of heroes and demons,

Blue flowers and endless pilgrims,

Faded in darks hours of stillness,

The Cage of unlived dreams of

unity and peaceful embrace with another.

This knowing that no death is the final,

No old or new, could be the saviour of my perceptions.

I have endured living in the polarity of the world

While my bare heart bestowed at

The corner of your walls, next to a fig tree,

Humbled and mad.

Every waves of pain comes lighter than the last one,

That is how years passed by.

Body is heavy, my hair all white,

My fingers forgot how to grasp, how to own a pencil

How to imagine your face

On a white page of hopeful tomorrows.

I am forgotten in God.

Here, has become my companion, my friend,

The light of my heart’s candle.

Aloneness, wide and strong

Slept with me on my pillow,

with no separation, no expectation.

Remembrance was definition of

unconditional love.

Endless burn in Flames,

the promise of union.

Heart mission finally completed,

What was began 13 years ago,

on hills of San Francisco,

When he held my hand

And flames burst out from my every cell.

I knew, this love is death of my everything.

Sometimes like a tree,

We lose leaves,

Or like a hairy four legs, shed through seasons.

I do not know, how many layers, seasons are passed,

My heart rusted over all gravities,

To keep  just this one memory from my humanhood.

“He is holding my hand, still…holding”

Hash hash,

Do not whisper his name,

Cry, cry it over silent lakes and friends

That their comes and goes are faster than trains.

Only clouds could remember the tracks of our foot steps

Beyond sky and stars,

The Invisible path of milky way

Bonded my heart

To ache of his absent and yet so present.

Western winds mocked the threads  

Woven between us,

By ancient dreamers.

While our truth was lost

among sorrows and songs.

13 years ago, I said it loud,

And silent made a void out of my voice,

Echoing since, in my daily tears.

“We are in this together,

We are in this forever.”

 Now, in this graveyard of human memories

There is a wish waiting in throat on time.

You

The owner of my heart,

The knower of everything,

Sing something wonderful,

To awake all stones on my grave,

Dusky sky is waiting for the golden ray

To appear with a sign, with a poem

With a daisy,

hopeful for a day full of life

For a kiss, transcendental and pure between equals.

The remembrance

Every hope, dried up, every lute song, played on.

Every pilgrim ended.

Horizons keep changing,

All games of stars and humanity,

All love poems,

All me,

Are ended in Void.

In the depth of this dark void,

I am a space covered with scent

of longing, aloneness

seeding hope for

this planet, for every soul

to love unconditional.

I have become so silent,

while everything inside hovering out.

Beneath of my heart,

Is a closed gate,

Between myself and heaven.

I gazed 13 years into my heart,

Waiting for the right time,

Right relation, right mission,

Right community,

Right lover.

No more.

Today, I opened the gate

Let storm and rain wash every relation off,

I alone stand in love.

No road, no companion,

no dream, no hope

Is required.

I have come to acceptance of who I am.

This longing is me,

This ache is me,

This love is me.

Serena Devi, Istanbul Turkey

21st September 2021

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